A View From Another World

Manless

mary — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 17:23:56 +0000

So, this is the big Birkebeiner cross country ski race weekend, and Steve is doing his 20th consecutive race…kudos to him! My boys will also be gone overnight as well for a church function which means I WILL BE MANLESS FOR 36 hours!!!!! The joys of a clean house, quiet music, books…and control over the remote are simply cherries on top of the fact that I don’t have to cook or respond to “MOOOOMMMM” for a great stretch of time. The thought of being in my house and not having to say a solitary word is pure luxury. No one will be there to storm in while I’m doing my business and demand they get their computer time, and I can take a bath without a certain someone leaning on the door in a “How you doin” kind of way. I am relishing being by myself in a way that my younger self would have been horrified at. Stupid girl. She didn’t know how good she had it!

It was Valentine’s Day?

mary — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 22:09:20 +0000

Yeah, I posed the question because beyond my flashbacks to my elementary school valentine’s boxes and the sore hand I got from addressing every envelope personally, coupled with the secret wish that David Cassidy was somewhere far away feeling a hole in his soul because I wasn’t quite old enough to fill it…that was pretty much it for my valentine’s day. Now, granted I don’t succumb to all the commercial pressure….oh wait, Yes the Hell I do…all I got was a bag of popcorn. Are you weeping for me? Maybe I’m not clear enough with the men in my house. Next year I’ll just have to wear a shirt that says “Yes, I may be shallow but I do want presents for Valentine’s Day.” I’m not trying to reap what I haven’t sown here…my children each got a box of chocolates on their pillow…Steve got a sit to stand desk…totally cool, and you can see above. (granted not that Valentinesy…but a present nonetheless). I will go for all the cheap consumerism…cards, flowers, candy and most importantly MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL. I know I am a philosophical conundrum…but on this day I am the girliest of girls. I wear pink. I watched the lifetime channel. I even drank white zinfandel…in a pity pool of my own making because I should know by now in this heap of testosterone that the big V day is just not a big deal to them, even though it is to me. And while my rantings may be shallow, I do remember those who are alone and sad and send love to them as well.

New Doo

mary — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:56:33 +0000

Sometimes its exhausting being me. Mostly because I think too much. So I got a new doo. Here is a picture of it. I guess I like it ok, except for the fact that it hasn’t been this short in 10 years and it does take getting used to. My sons think it fits my age i.e. I look more like a mom, my husband loves it and shares more and more how much he hated my long hair…which I loved, personally, except it just wasn’t working for me anymore. I stopped thinking about the world and our problems for a minute. My haircut is simple and easy, like I wish life would be. I wish hard work always resulted in fair compensation that a family could live on, I wish people would show greater respect to all those who have accepted the charge to build this country and recognize that change won’t happen over night or in a vacuum , I wish people wouldn’t be so afraid of challenges and change, I wish people could marry who they love, and I wish people would stop equating being a better American and being religious in the same sentence…last time I read my bible it didn’t limit the Kingdom of God to any particular political agenda. Most importantly, I would like people to remember that motto of the United States was E. Pluribus Unum meaning out of Many, One…indicating that compromise is a strong aspect of leadership. I think all of us can use something new every once in a while, it keeps life interesting and it is amazing how people begin to see someone in a new light.

Regarding Jonah and the Non-prodigal son

mary — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 17:50:11 +0000

I don’t know if it is God’s great humor or the hubris of Jonah that resulted in my isolation in the belly of my own metaphorical whale, but sans the fish smell it was no less cramped, dark, and completely uncomfortable. When it comes to the non-prodigal son and Jonah, I can completely sympathize with their tendency to mope over a last-minute save. Today they are my brethren. Granted, I may be speaking in the voice of that petulant child that roars her ugly head once in a while, but the feeling of putting my ninja on and wreaking havoc on all the vipers and hypocrites and evil doers even has my rational, old soul, adult self jumping on board. I am tired of bad people getting away with bad things and coming to Jesus to make it all right. I wish omniscience was one of my super powers, so I would have the ability to distinguish between who has really learned the hard lessons and has changed their ways and the liars who pretend to. Then I could spontaneously combust the wolves with my Darth Vader like stare. But, alas that would make me no better than they are, focused so outwardly on the sins of others that I can’t see my own. I did despair a bit at this because Jesus has taught me to keep forgiving the bastards seventy times seventy….which is how I ended up inside my whale. My internal rantings began to the tune of ”Walking the Line” and all the difficulties with come with that when there are so many who appear to reap benefits from not only walking far away from the line but taunt the rest of us who do…only to descend even deeper to conclude with a chorus of nana nana booboo and visualize the evil doers being herded off a cliff somewhere. The echo of all that whining bouncing off the blubber of my internal whale became so deafening that I told my internal petulant child that enough was enough already. The descent into emotional and spiritual retardation, became an invitation to revisit why it is I choose to live by a higher moral imperative anyway. It isn’t because I believe that I get to go to heaven, or avoid a heavy karmic backlash. Truly, I believe it is because it makes the most sense to me. Choosing a path of love demands certain behaviors laid out for me in the New Testament. Jesus did prescribe a way to live in the world that will build the Kingdom of God and in order to get out of the belly of the whale I had to figure out that holding others accountable is God’s job and not mine. The phrase, “it’s not fair” is wiped from my lexicon. That is not to say, that I won’t continue to fight for justice, rather, I will trust that Jesus’ great gift is very much alive and well even when it appears that the line isn’t even visible anymore. I have learned a great lesson these past days and have regain a greater peace.

Leadership

mary — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 18:01:40 +0000

The events of this week challenged me to revisit some of the primary qualities of leadership that I studied for my Master’s degree in Organizational Leadership at St. Catherine’s University. At the time, I remember thinking how simple these qualities were and how perhaps unnecessary it was to pay all this money for an actual degree that rests on a lot of simple common sense. But after all these years, I’ve changed my tune. I’ve discovered that common sense isn’t necessarily inherent when it comes to those in positions of leadership, whether it be from the top or down to the bottom of small town America. The thing that struck me most this past week, is the seamless ability for leaders to pass the buck when faced with a crisis. When an issue exists that challenges the function of a group, it is a primary function of the leader to address any issue with honesty and integrity. To say, “It’s not my fault”, or “they just wouldn’t listen to me”, or “they aren’t good enough to be here”, or to simply point the finger in some other direction away from themselves isn’t an examples of acting with integrity or honesty. It is also a primary function of any leader to assess what action is essential for the success of the entire group, and not just themselves…even if it means being honest about a mistake made and accepting the consequences with integrity, be it the leader themselves or a member of the group. The kind of behavior that speaks so much louder than rhetoric, is embracing every opportunity to learn with humility and courage. The need to be right, or infallible often takes over the need to be accountable, embrace our imperfections and learn from the lessons that life brings.

I don’t believe that leadership is an innate quality, it is developed over time in the simplest of ways…often facilitated by facing difficult challenges at the hands of those whose desire it is to overpower, rather than empower. I’ve tried to explain that to my sons after they’ve suffered the wrath of the hierarchy of power in school…they call them “douche-bags” I just call them bullies, that their influence won’t last beyond high school. Maturity brings clarity. I’ve told them if I were able to go back in time with a video-tape of what the “douche-bags” of my time looked like 30 years later and show my young self that this is why you don’t need to cry after being left out of the next big party, I wouldn’t have given them so much power to second guess myself. Making the choice not to drink and behave like a “skank” (also my son’s words) was the best choice in the long run for me. Time has a way of pulling back the curtain and exposing the true nature of those we handed our power; they really aren’t wizards after all. And while I may not have made those choices altogether because of my great leadership skills, I did have people in my life who gave me support for the choices I needed to make for me. More importantly, I learned to choose behavior that matched my belief system, whether or not I got support from the rank and file. Standing up for your beliefs is always hard, but it does get easier the more you do it

I wish there were more examples of the kind of men and women whose actions are void of condemnation but ripe with acceptance and high regard, who are honest and have courage enough to be imperfect and accept the necessary consequences, who don’t hide behind the spin of words that paint false perceptions of perfection, who have the foresight to lead us to a better place even though it may be difficult and most importantly, a leader with such commitment and belief in their mission that giving up in the face of adversity will never even be a remote possibility. I don’t care if it is the pope, or a president or the captain of a basketball team. The kind of qualities I just mentioned apply in any situation. I know there are plenty of examples of great leaders out there, I just want them to pushed to the forefront so they can expose how poorly those in positions of power are really doing when it comes to leadership. So, this week…share on your social media outlets, those great leaders who have influenced you in your life, whether they be Julian of Norwich, a favorite of mine, Martin Luther King, Einstein, or even a great coach. Show the world that there are good and true leaders in the world, whose honesty and integrity make them shine!

2012

mary — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 21:51:58 +0000

I hope the lateness of my discussion of the new year isn’t an indication of what is to come for the rest of the year…although if the weather is setting a precedent, that is there is no snow and the temperature has been above zero so many days these last two months…timeliness won’t be the theme for the year. But because it seems usual patterns are disrupting everywhere, it has become my theme for the year, which incidentally has come in with a bang. I think we get so lulled into our daily routines that important lessons and events just slip by. It seems the universe has had enough of that attitude and will be shaking things up a bit. So this year it means putting faith to the test and expecting neither the unexpected or the expected. Will the men in my house suddenly embrace tidiness, common sense and détente? God only knows, but stepping into each day without any expectations guiding my actions suddenly transforms every little thing I do, and more importantly, why I do them. I will show up at work each day because I’m committed to our practice, not because I have to. I will treat my body respectfully because I know what can happen when you don’t and I have a lot of living yet to do. It is the weight of what’s expected that I can do without. Living with a clearer purpose will hopefully be the result…hey, it’s only nine days into the year and so far, so good. As I’ve said before, God has a better imagination than I do, so let’s get to it!

Looking Beyond Illusion

mary — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 18:38:21 +0000

True to form, as I ponder the end of 2011, I am trying really hard to see through its difficulties to the lessons that were presented to me. Again, true to form, I also trying hard to resist the genetics of my Irish heritage that predispose me to the belief that somehow I deserved all the difficulty thrust upon me, and still objectively try to redeem my personal disasters by searching through the rubble to find pearls of wisdom. In this simplest example, while I certainly know I am responsible for the disregard of my bodily temple enough to incapacitate my immune system so that is was ripe for a heinous virus that sent me over the edge and the additional five pounds and more slack musculature that developed during my convalescence, I will place no blame or guilt on my already overdeveloped sense of morality. Feeling truly rested for the first time in awhile and more respectful of my limitations was the silver lining. This year I learned that I cannot do everything, and when I try I will suffer for it. I also learned that weakness is more of a human trait than a choice, and paradoxically with that realization came greater strength. Now on a larger level, it is much more difficult to find sense and my place in the mess. The personal lessons I can learn from all the destruction…from Mother Nature, to the Global economy, from the deposing of dictators to the disregard of collegial behavior in our own government are far more allusive.

While my ability to affect change on a global level might be limited, my ability to understand it isn’t, so that is the best place for me to start. With understanding, comes the ability to see a situation more clearly, and not fall into hopelessness and fear. There are plenty of experts in climate, finance, foreign policy and problem solving out there to help us understand our situation without vilification of any one thing in the process. And while Beelzebub may be real, I think the evidence of humanities hand in our present predicament is far more compelling than the devil orchestrating any shenanigans afoot, which of course also means that the rescue part isn’t up to God..leaving me to conclude that our greatest need right now is to find a leader who can help us shatter the illusions that are fed to us every day by those who are less concerned about the truth, but more about absolving themselves from responsibility and finding a suitable scapegoat. The thing is, once the great sacrifice was made and the gift of grace was bestowed, we inherited everything we need to build the kingdom on earth. The chains of hell were broken and heaven opened up. So what is the problem, where is the Kingdom? I say with the greatness and privilege that was bestowed comes an even greater responsibility…one that certainly has been shirked as of late.

While each of us is weak, the spirit can make us strong…invincible, as scripture tells us. The paradox as I understand it means that it is only by embracing the weak part, and fully seeing, without illusion, how an individual weakness is manifested in our lives is the only way to really activate the gift of grace. That may raise a red flag theologically, but I know too many people who have claimed the “gift of the spirit” who are, well, underneath the facade….HORRIBLE PEOPLE. The caps may be cheesy, but I can’t explain it any other way, the work of the spirit is nullified by ego and arrogance. There are more Christians in the world than any other religion, and yet genocide, sexual crime and all other forms of violence are on the up-rise. I will not blame the Muslim nation either, while a few madmen have wreaked havoc there is enough evidence of evil within the walls of the Christian Church. The clue lies in Jesus last commandment…”They will know you are my disciples by how you love one another” That not only includes all the traits listed throughout scripture…like love is patient and kind, but it also means that the action of loving, displaces all fear…since fear has to do with punishment. So next time when you listen to any leader, measure their behavior by what Jesus commands. Knowing that each of us is weak is a simple human truth, faith can move us to a greater strength if we can shatter the illusions that hold us back. Every person is worthy of it, not just those who fit the traditional description. Love will never be confined by our definition of it, rather the chains of our confinement are broken by love. Then, fear will subside and we can move freely toward the Kingdom of God.

Finally, some Snow

mary — Fri, 23 Dec 2011 16:48:02 +0000

Blizzards in Oklahoma and Texas and having absolutely no snow and seasonable warm temperatures here in Wisconsin? The world certainly seems all cattywampus. Fearing that we would have a brown Christmas isn’t usually on my list of stressers…and then this morning out my window the first dusting began, and now I can’t even see the water tower in our town. I’m not holding my breath though, because the weather guy has predicted an afternoon high of 37 degrees. I can’t believe how much this little bit of snow has uplifted my spirits! I guess much of the special qualities of this season are tied to a winter environment. I love the smell and crispness of the air, and the light reflecting off the snow at night, so when I take my night-time winter walks, I can see clearly. Up until now, it has been so dark and gloomy that even the town lights and decorations can shift the barrenness of the terrain here. But I got a great gift today, even if it won’t last the weekend, for a moment the white is exactly what I needed.

They Clean up so Nice!

mary — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:58:47 +0000

As much as I complain about the men in my house, there are still those moments when my chest puffs up with pride, and a tear comes to my eye and I actually see beyond the throes of adolescent drama into their potential futures. They are fine, young and handsome men, who have talent beyond being able to irritate me like a psychic poison ivy. A toast to being athletes and band geeks at the same time.

Celebration

mary — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 17:20:49 +0000

These a just a few good friends that I had the opportunity to celebrate with at our annual holiday party. I included this picture primarily because I promised an “after” bells palsy picture and since I hate getting my picture taken I keep putting it off, so this one will have to do. It is with the greatest sincerity that I appreciated our gathering so much more than in past years because of the challenges that I faced with this blasted virus. Regardless of the trials that I’ve faced this year, there is consistency and unwavering support from the people that are in my life, and that is the best gift of the season. When challenges tempt each of us into tunnel vision, it is those relationships that force me to expand my perception and see that the world is much brighter than it may feel at any given moment. That is my light of the season, that no challenge will alter the love and support of family and friends. I am on the mend and grateful for these opportunities to celebrate.